Feature: Just A Thought – The Emperor’s Pants Are Down!

Last week this time, I was wrapping up an extended weekend of much needed shenanigans prompted by my significant other’s return to the Mountain State. From watching Friday and Saturday night election results, a DJ battle and dancing, to Monday’s outdoor patio, socially-distanced, “fireside” chat with two friends, I promise you there wasn’t a dull moment.

The time we had was nothing new. In fact, it was how we normally entertain ourselves except for two things – we didn’t cook on the grill, and our sons, or family weren’t with us. I was reminded that the pandemic has fundamentally shifted the way we all live. After reflecting on that thought, I immediately rejected it. It has actually exposed how we’ve been living all along.

In March, my then-employer announced that we were going to begin working remotely. I was thrilled about the decision! I was excited because we were taking precautions for everyone’s safety, and I was going to be able to enjoy the home I built less than a year before, giving me a seamless transition between work and happy hour.

My celebration was short-lived because what I didn’t take in to account, was what the impact of the sheltering at home might be. The amount of weight I would gain from cooking, eating, and snacking all day long and late hours in the evening, becoming sedentary watching TV and listening to music into the wee hours of the morning, and going extended periods of time between seeing our sons, and being slightly uncomfortable when we did see them concerned they weren’t being as cautious as I had been.

It took me a moment to get it, but I quickly came to grips with the truth about myself, my life. My eating patterns during the week were based on my significant other’s schedule. Period. I would eat dinner out with friends and bring him a plate if he was going to work late, wait until he got to my house to eat dinner, or eat at home alone when he was scheduled to get there too late, or on the rare occasions we planned he would not come at all. I wasn’t going to the gym consistently, then, I was only teaching my fitness class occasionally on weekends, and I always worried about our sons. Not because they demonstrated bad decision-making patterns, but because I wasn’t fully trusting God to protect them from the threats against their lives as young Black men. The revelation for me was, my behaviors weren’t new, they were just exposed.

On the journey to becoming the best version of yourself, you will have to reconcile who you show yourself to be, with who you really are. Aligning the two will take courage and sacrifice. It’s not easy to be authentic in the world we live in. I know. I am judged and criticized personally and professionally for speaking my truth, telling others what I think (I have an opinion about everything lol), and for being transparent about my life (what the elders would call telling my business.) My messiness is on display living authentically. Yours will be too, and that’s OK. And even through the criticism, I wouldn’t consider living any other way. The old saying, “the truth will set you free,” is real. I love being me – imperfections, bruises, and all.

We have all experienced trauma in our lives, and we all fall short. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. During your shift, be careful not to anticipate judgement from God for the mistakes you made. Remember, He already promised us grace and mercy. Trust Him. Trust the process.

If we’re willing to grow through pain and discomfort, as horrific as this pandemic is, the resulting exposure of how we’ve been living has created significant opportunities for us personally and professionally. While talking with a colleague about the impediments we need to address in our organization that have always been there in our industry, and are now exposed by the pandemic, she said, “People need to understand, old keys can’t open new doors.” She’s right.

What has the pandemic exposed about you or your life? The need to make a shift, change, or completely abandon something or someone in your life doesn’t have to come from huge monumental moments that shock you, or cause trauma. It can come from the little things that take small pieces of your peace, one bite at a time.

As we continue to navigate through these unprecedented times, let’s do so with a spirit of abundance, expectation, and gratitude. I made a shift from my exposure – a big one, and so can you. One bite at a time!