Feature: Just A Thought – The Choice is Yours

This weekend, I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and could not find my spatula. I looked in all of the utensil drawers a couple of times, and other drawers where I don’t typically keep utensils. I began to grow increasingly agitated. I couldn’t figure out what could’ve happened to it. I thought to myself, ‘It was either moved by one of my guys during my absence or someone misplaced it when I was home for the baby shower a few weeks ago’– I am very organized.

The food was already cooking, and I was going to need the spatula soon. I blurted out to my significant other in my most annoying tone of voice, “I can’t find the spatula!” He said calmly, “Did you look in all of the drawers?” I said, “Yes, all of them!” slightly annoyed at his simple question, while pulling the drawers open again in haste.

As he began walking over to help me, I pulled the first drawer open for the third time, the one where the spatula is normally kept, and looked up and shouted proudly, “Never mind, I found it!” As I looked up, he was standing right next to me with a blank stare on his face. I busted out in laughter at myself! He walked away shaking his head with a smirk on his face and said, “People would never believe half the stories I have about you.” Side note, I am probably one of the clumsiest, and most directionally challenged people you will ever meet. We laughed together as he took a walk down memory lane reminding me of some of my worse violations in this space, and I finished cooking breakfast.

It occurred to me that sometimes in everyday life, we behave just like I did over the spatula. We see what we want to see, then blame others when we don’t see what we were looking for. The reason I didn’t see the spatula the first two times I looked in the utensil drawer is I was looking for a black spatula – one I haven’t had in years, versus the silver one that was there. I had a predetermined thought about the color of the spatula, what it would look like when I saw it, and how it was shaped. I chose not to see what was right in front of me the whole time, because it didn’t fit the description I had in my mind.

The gift of choice is powerful. Every day we make choices for our lives and those choices often impact other lives – at times, not in a good way. And while the ability to choose one thing or person over another rests in our mind, I suggest the greater drivers of choice are actually sight and emotion.

In my life, I have made choices based on what I thought I saw and how I felt, instead of making them based on what was actually there – facts. Perhaps you have, too. Whether you have responded negatively toward another woman because of the way she dresses without even knowing her, quit a job because you were mad at your manager or co-worker, purchased an item you couldn’t afford because it looked good, or stayed in a toxic marriage or relationship – the choice was yours and it carried consequences.

It’s easy to blame others for the choices you make, particularly when their actions cause you pain. Taking responsibility for your choice to endure it is much more difficult. If something or someone is bringing pain in your life, you can choose to walk away and let it go. If you keep it or stay, it’s important to own your choice without blaming others.

On the journey to becoming the best version of yourself, I encourage you to choose love over hate. Responsibility over blame. Faith over fear. It may look like things won’t work out or look like you won’t make it. Truth be told, you know better! Things always work out the way they should, and you just might discover that what you’ve been looking for has been right there in front of you the whole time.