When my boys were little, and I found something in the house broken, missing (typically related to food), or out of place, I would ask, “Who did this?” Inevitably, they would respond staring me straight in the face, with a deer in the headlights look and say, “It wasn’t me!” Annoyed with their response, I would think to myself, “Well, it certainly wasn’t me either.”

Ironically, it seems as though that same sentiment exists for far too many adults. As we experience challenges in our lives, many of us typically suggest our state of unhappiness, pain, heartache or distress is someone else’s fault. Now, I’m not suggesting that your current situation wasn’t provoked or caused by another person’s actions. What I am suggesting is that the choice to accept or deal with the circumstances is on you.

Accountability is a word that many of us seem to struggle with. It’s difficult to experience painful consequences in life based on our choices – particularly when the pain was caused by someone else’s actions – so we tend to focus on the cause instead of our reaction. When I was in my late 20s, I struggled with this, too. I was convinced the world had something against me. My friends had great jobs, some were traveling, or getting married, when I was ending my marriage of less than a decade with a 2-year-old and 10-month-old, born of that union, in tow.

I didn’t abandon my marriage because my husband was unfaithful, physically abusive, or didn’t take care of our home. I left because we had fundamental differences in our perspectives about love and family. We were unequally yoked. I knew it before we got married and was too immature to fully understand the consequences of that fact. It wasn’t him, it was me!

I found myself living back in my parents’ home in their basement. I was 27 years old, broke, and unemployed because my 10-month-old had severe heart disease from his disability and it was too dangerous to go to work and leave him at a day care center.  I vowed to myself that I would get to know who I was and ensure that I would always be able to provide for my children. I was not then, nor am I now anti-marriage. I am pro-children and pro-me. I did my work for myself and my sons.

Taking accountability for my actions and getting to know myself was a journey – one that changed my life in significant ways. Doing my work didn’t make my journey perfect or easy, it made me conscious and aware. That consciousness enabled me to make better choices and exercise the wisdom I gained as I matured.

Make no mistake about it, I’m still a work in progress. Building your personal brand is a life-long endeavor. A good brand remains consistent, while evolving over time. I own my mistakes, and the consequences that come with them. And, like your mistakes, sometimes they’re not pretty, but they are mine. I don’t blame others for the things they do that may disappoint, shock or hurt me. I acknowledge their behavior, communicate the violation of trust, and decide what’s best for me given those circumstances. I encourage you to do the same.

It’s your responsibility to teach others how to treat you by treating yourself with respect first. If you label yourself a victim, blame others, or spend your time waiting for someone to change their behavior, then you ultimately cause damage to yourself and slow your progress.

Take hold of yourself! What happened to you may not have been your fault. It becomes your fault when you refuse to be accountable for your choices. Let’s work on being accountable to ourselves. Use the resources provided to you on www.yourpointofpride.com to live to your fullest potential.