I don’t know about you, but it takes me forever to get dressed in the morning. I can’t say exactly what is taking me so long to get myself together, I just know the earlier I get up, the later I run for work. I must admit that most of my time is spent in the mirror. Getting ready has become a bit of a challenge. I’m used to having affirmations thrown at me each morning as I wake and get ready. By the time I got dressed, you couldn’t tell me nothing! Lol.

Well, now it’s just me and the mirror and it’s not as flattering as the verbal cues I had grown accustomed to. Last week, I hollered in laughter after the knock down drag out I had with the woman in the mirror.

It was an important day at work and I wanted to look exceptionally pretty. While trying to fit one of my favorite skirts over the quarantine 15 I’ve gained, it fought back. I tugged, twisted and tried pulling it over and around places that weren’t there before and I began talking out loud calling myself every kind of fat name I could imagine. At some juncture, the fight got unfair and the little voice in the mirror lashed out with criticism about how much I’ve been eating and snacking lately, my hairstyle, lipstick color, and how puffy my eyes were from staying up late talking on the phone all night. Ironically, all the affirmations I received during that call a few short hours before went missing from my memory and the fight was on!

Once I finally got myself together, I couldn’t believe how much time it took me to ignore the voice in the mirror. It was painfully apparent that the skirt no longer fit as loose as it had, but I looked good. My hair was styled exactly like it had been that entire week. My eyes were puffy, but it was a good thing because my emotional bank account had received a significant deposit the night before. And most important, I had made myself late for work because of my refusal to accept my truth, and my willingness to go the entire 12 rounds of the heavyweight fight.

Once I accepted the facts she didn’t have, I started running around grabbing jewelry and working up a sweat trying to get out of the house. All of a sudden, I burst out in laughter. My behavior made me think about some of my girlfriends who have daughters. In their homes, they put sticky notes up in the bathroom and in the girls’ rooms with positive affirmations like “I am beautiful,” “I am smart,” “I am kind,” etc. I thought to myself, I could’ve used some of those sticky notes on my mirror that morning.

How many times do you behave like me and allow your internal critic to steal the courage you need to do the things you want to do, or need to do to create positive change in your life? It can be so easy to talk yourself out of something that can create the very shift you need to move forward. Your internal critic may tell you there’s someone else more qualified for the job, you’re not pretty, you’re not good enough, or make you believe you have to stay in an abusive relationship or accept infidelity because there’s no “good” men left and if you leave, you will be alone the rest of your life. Your critic loves comfort. She knows change is hard because of the unknowns of the process. The good news is, you know more than she does. And you now know not to seek validation through other people, including men, or other things.

On your journey to your point of pride, you will lose some battles with your inner critic, but you can win the war! It’s ok to acknowledge she’s there, but you must realize she’s not you. You can distance yourself from the negative things she’s telling you, and think about the facts. What is really true, and what is not. It’s important to be honest with yourself, and work through your fear and discomfort to become the best version of yourself. You don’t have to live feeling stuck or unhappy. You can achieve anything you put your mind to. Tell your “doubting Debbie” to ‘saddown’ somewhere. Your blessing is out there waiting for you!

Visit www.yourpointofpride.com to start the journey of becoming the best version of yourself.