I’m a daddy’s girl. Not one of those self-proclaimed girls who have doubt. No, I’m one of those rotten to the core daddy’s girls – the youngest and only girl who got on her brothers’ nerves, aggravated her mother to no end as the reigning princess and believes at heart that the Lord himself discarded the mold when he made my daddy. To me, other men are a poor imitation of my God-fearing, humble, patient, compassionate and forgiving leader who ruled our kingdom by the Good Book. We had a good life!

Eight years ago, God saw fit to call my dad home at 81 years young. Oh, how the angels did sing. Me? I broke. Into. Pieces. His birthday was last Friday, and as I sat at my desk at work mourning his loss as if were yesterday while managing through some work issues, I couldn’t help but reflect on my continuing journey to becoming the best version of myself.

When my dad died, I built a wall around myself that was too big for anyone to scale, including my sons, mother, and significant other – no matter how hard they tried. After all, my spiritual warrior, personal confidant and biggest cheerleader was gone. Who was going to tell me how pretty I am all the time, make me feel like I’m the smartest girl on earth, give me what I want just because I asked, and most importantly, turn a blind eye to my nonsense and let me get away with it? I thought to myself, “What now?” Saying it hasn’t been easy is an understatement. My daddy issues surfaced with a vengeance.

I’m a firm believer that all women have daddy issues. Whether it’s because you don’t know who he is; you know who he is and never met him; he passed away while you were young; he was physically there in title only, yet, absent; he was there and didn’t have the tools to love you appropriately; or, like me, he was there and loved you rotten. Either way, all of these scenarios have produced women who have some challenges that we don’t really talk about.

Amidst all of the “you go girl,” “sista friend,” “bestie,” and “Black girl magic” campaigns we engage in, there is an underlying truth that women, as a group, are also engaging in the same microaggressions and behaviors that we accuse others of doing to us. If we are transparent and completely honest with ourselves – we can be our own worst enemy. Poor relationships between women have been monetized. Look no further than reality shows and movies that exist solely to manufacture conflict and violence between women.

Daddy issues have created women who show up insecure, broken, traumatized, demanding, spoiled, angry, petty and jealous. Instead of doing our individual work in these areas, at times we attack each other. I certainly have been petty a time or two … OK, maybe more than that, but you get my point. I had been so used to getting what I want, when I wanted it, and on my own terms, that in one instance instead of making a choice to do what was right, I opted to prove my point. I proved it, but, it was at the expense of causing trauma to other people involved, hurting innocent bystanders, creating an unplanned delay in getting to my next chapter, and putting my values on the shelf temporarily. In an attempt to belittle or hurt other women, we often betray ourselves.

I was arrogant and flaunted my victory. It was more important to me to win than to do what was right. I was wrong for doing that. I used to think being spoiled is cute – it isn’t. If you’re convicted, like me, because you’ve behaved in a petty way, you will agree that we do this nonsense and then have the audacity to wonder why so many women have fortified spirits.

On the journey to becoming the best version of yourself, it’s important to know that everyone is not going to think the way you do, behave the way you do, or have the same values as you. In addition to our daddy issues, our cultural, generational, educational and spiritual differences influence who we are and the choices we make.

Envying other’s successes, blaming each other for broken relationships and vows instead of the significant other or spouse who is responsible, and judging each other’s style of dress, hair or dating choices are far too common. These behaviors only serve to deplete our energies and rob us of the focus needed to address the real issues that exist for women including societal expectations, gender roles and inequities.

There’s a spiritual truth that there is no favor of people in life. There is, however, favor in doing what is right. We can all choose to do what is right. The agenda is not your own – it’s bigger than any one of us. Agreement is powerful.

If we come together in agreement, we can tear down the walls and barriers that are against us. Communication is the key. As Iyanla Vanzant says, “I am not my sister’s keeper. I am my sister.”

Visit www.yourpointofpride.com to start the journey of becoming the best version of yourself.