In one week I start a new job. It’s a dream job to me in every sense of the word.  The job requirements have many elements that I have had work experience in, the mission of the organization has similarities to the organization I’m leaving, and the location is just close enough that I can maintain my current residence (now, I can’t be sure of how my residence will look when I visit with my men taking it over, but I’m able to keep it nonetheless, Lol!).

I can’t tell you exactly when this job became a dream of mine. I do know that the conversation about it began sometime in 2016. I had been employed at North Carolina A&T State University for six years, and I was in my third leadership position. I was talking with my manager, as we had always done, about the operations of his team, work in general, and my career direction. I enjoyed the privilege of having my manager serve as a mentor, so our conversations often brought me great benefit. This time, during our conversation he stated that he believed my skillset and experiences have prepared me to pursue this new role. I hesitated, chuckled nervously, and said that I had not considered it, nor did I think I even wanted to take on the challenges associated with it.

Most often, people tend think senior leadership positions are glamourous. Don’t get me wrong, they do have their perks, and at the same time, they carry a significant amount of responsibility that also includes all of the bad things that happen in organizations most people will never see. It. Ain’t. Easy. Once my manager planted the seed, I began thinking about my future more intentionally, and we revisited the conversation from time to time.

While reflecting on our conversation, my past professional experiences, the skills I’d gained, and what the future might look like for me, I couldn’t help but recall a different conversation I had with my manager prior to this one. In 2012, a position opened on his senior leadership team and I applied. I wanted the position badly. I felt I had worked hard to get it, I was performing at a level that met his expectations, and I had demonstrated that he could trust me to do what was best for the organization despite what others thought. It’s not that I just thought these things on my own. My beliefs were validated by his feedback during those times I engaged with him about critical organizational issues.

At any rate, I was now in the applicant pool. Confident, but not cocky. Sure, but not certain. I thought, what did I have to lose? After all, literally every position I applied for in my career up until that point I had gotten. Why would my winning streak change now? In addition, my professional experiences taught me to compete – to seize opportunity when I saw it. So what I had only been at the organization for two years. I had proven myself time and time again. Well, I thought wrong. I made it to the finals with one other candidate, and I was ultimately not selected for the position. I was shocked! Disappointed. Hurt. Embarrassed. Everyone was going to know that I lost and I didn’t get what I thought was supposed to be mine. I could not understand why I didn’t get the job. What did I do wrong?

It turns out that I didn’t do anything wrong. When he called to tell me I didn’t get the job, he said the other candidate simply had more experience in the field of work I was applying for, he believed she would best meet the needs of the organization at that time, and it was a difficult decision for him. (I thought, “Difficult for you?” What kind of organizational nonsense is that?!)

On the way to becoming the best version of yourself, you are going to experience rejection. Period. Rejection on your job, with your children, friends, other relationships and even in marriage – it is inevitable. Rejection is simply a setback. Don’t let your setback become a take down. The important thing about rejection is to not own someone else’s choice. Sure, you should reflect to see if there’s something you can improve upon, tweak, or gain more experience to fill a skill gap, but by all means, take the “L” and move on by considering what next steps look like for you.

This experience taught me to accept rejection with grace. There is no shame in it unless you refuse to accept it. Rejection is a part of growth. To get through it and build your brand you will need resilience – the ability to recover from misfortune or change. I have had to be resilient many times in my life. The part of resilience that I rely on most is accepting what it is, and recovering from what it was.

Accepting rejection doesn’t mean to sit and wait. The gift of rejection gives you the opportunity to find your purpose in life if you take the necessary action(s) to overcome it.

The person selected for the job over me didn’t work out. In less than one year, I was appointed to the position in an interim capacity. After serving in the position for several months, I learned I didn’t want it after all. Another senior-level position opened up that was more interesting to me, I applied, and got it. That position was critical to preparing me for my dream job. My rejection then was because something better was waiting for me, and it’s no different for you. I’ve heard it said that if your dreams don’t scare you you’re not dreaming big enough.

Are you afraid of your dreams?

 

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